I have always thought that giving birth and having a baby will be easy. When I first discovered that I was pregnant , I was over the moon as nothing feel more blessed than having a tiny breathing living growing inside me. I gave up overseas projects painfully, and streamed my local events carefully. When the elders advised against being near drilling works during this period, I had no other choices (had to be around during installation for sure) but to tell my baby "it's alright, let it rough and you'll be tough, mama is with you" every • single • time. The very least that I could do was to avoid overnight set ups. I was blessed with a cooperative baby. Everything felt pretty manageable when I was carrying a huge ball of tummy during set ups and I thought hey, it's quite easy to work while having a kid!
Fast forward to delivery. I thought it was gonna be easy, and I assumed everyone WILL be able to give birth naturally, like how TV dramas have always portrayed deliveries. Then came Christmas Eve when the real contractions started and lasted an arduous 16 hours. During the last few hours, reality slapped me hard when the hospital needed to send me for emergency Caesarian. I was dumbfounded and could only agree feebly. I broke down, I shivered, I talked incoherently, I was afraid. I didn't prepare myself for that and I've never been through operations my whole life. Lying under the operations theatre spotlights was made difficult when my hubby was sent to complete paper works (I think, mind was too occupied back then to rem details) and I was alone. Thankfully, the little bundle of joy was brought to the world safely by the time Christmas arrives - truly a joy to the world:)
Then again, I thought motherhood gonna be easy as long as I am strong in the mind. I thought the projects I took on from February onwards were well, yeah I was over confident like that, thought everything was easy and started work that soon. The first month was difficult. As first time parents, my hubby and I had our fair share of sleepless nights while looking after the baby and just as I was more positive about things, I was struck with very bad stomach flu on second week of confinement that gave me bad diarrhea and high fevers that lingered around 38.5-39.5 degree C. Experiencing the torments when I just gave birth was no joke. I couldn't even walk properly. That's when I started recognizing that I needed help for February event. I reached out to my fellow trade friends and stylists whom I have faith in completing the finished product beautifully, and they offered their help almost instantaneously upon knowing my plight. A big thank you to Rossette Design and Co. And Merryloveweddings for wanting to lend a helping hand! Rosette was kind enough to reorganize the team and squeeze out a slot for us even though they had their own wedding event on the same day. I was touched beyond words but due to technical difficulties, I couldn't take on their offers and ended up completing the show with helps from my very trusty minions (elves that other stylists call it).
Up till today, almost 5 months after delivery, I have not fully recovered yet, and I have been working tirelessly with an infected Csec wound that causes some pain when touched (don't worry, I'm under good care from medics and I'm trying to space my works evenly). My baby is growing well and every smile and wink she gives me fuel me to work harder for her. I'm blessed with a job which gives me the flexibility of time, that I can work from home mostly and witness all the little milestones she achieved along the way. That's where I finally understood, working mums are truly applaud-able and Csec mums did not have the "easy way out" as imagined by some.
Whoever says mumtrepreneur was easy... Okay no one did but I thought it would. Would I get into paper arts all over again? Maybe. Would I want to go through motherhood all over again? A definite yes, though tired, the joy I enjoy now is priceless.
Happy Mother's Day to myself:)
And all mothers out there, regardless of age. Being a mother, is beautiful.